none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
