Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize