My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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