All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
