thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
