I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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