i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
