Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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