she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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