somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
