i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
