Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
