We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
