you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
