Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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