she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
