Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
