i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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