Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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