I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
