Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
