Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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