i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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