At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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