guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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