Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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