small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
