i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
