Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
