he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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