Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
