problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
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