I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Even my vagina gasped.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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