dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
