make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
