Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize