you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
