Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
