It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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