I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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