The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
