i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
