he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
