i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
