My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
soo... how was my night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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