Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
These tits shall not be calmed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
