I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
