We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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