i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
