I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was CRYING into my vagina
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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