Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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