Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
