what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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