no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
