If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
