I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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