Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Randomize
