why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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