Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize