You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
