how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
