I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
